When I wrote Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, I had no idea how many people it would impact. Not only has it become a powerful resource for the men who thought they were alone in their pain, it has also proven to be a resource for the people in these men’s lives and the professionals that care for them.
I continue to learn about my journey and the impact it has had on my life. One of the biggest lessons is that we must all get comfortable with telling our story. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. That means facing the things that we tucked away in those dark corners of our being. Things we witnessed, emotions we felt, or thoughts we have had.
Knowing my own needs and hearing from others has inspired me to create additional resources for grieving dads that have to navigate through the aftermath of burying a child. One of those resources is my new workbook.
Some of you are uncomfortable attending a support group; I was. Therefore, the workbook was developed so it can be used on an individual basis or in a support group setting. The workbook follows the same outline and was designed to be a tool that helps the reader process key points highlighted in the original book.
If you decide to try the workbook, I encourage you to stick with it until the end. The process will be tough at times, so know that going in. You will have to dig deep, learn to be transparent and surrender. Tell your story, your whole story.
I hope you will give it a try. There is no judgment in what you have to say. Anyone who has had to walk this path understands that to be the truth. We are all just trying to get through it the best we can. My hope is that this workbook will help you get to the next level of healing.
When you get to a point where you feel like you can reach back and help other grieving dads through this nightmare, I encourage you to start a Grieving Dads Support Group in your community. The workbook includes a “Leader’s Guide” for those of you who wish to start a group. There is a brotherhood and a sense of connection between us that can be used to help each other. Embrace it.
Wishing you peace as you continue down this path of unimaginable loss.
Let me know if the workbook is helpful to you and if you decide to start a grieving dads support group in your community.
Kelly, I know this is a different situation, but I lost a baby boy at 18 weeks while I was pregnant. My husband did not go to support groups with me and I was the only mother at my support groups for two years. My husband also would not go to the cemetery on ours son’s Birthday or the day we lost him ever. It has now been 24 years and we have been divorced for 41/2 years now. Why did he act this way? Thank You,
Thank you Kelly for sharing your story and providing this platform to help grieving fathers. The day before Thanksgiving of 2016, my blonde-haired, blue-eyed little 9 year old was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma (bone cancer). For the next 15 months, Lizzy was treated at St. Jude in Memphis, TN. Lizzy was featured on the NBC Today Show, displayed on the menu in 3,500 Chili’s Restaurants, honored at professional and college sporting events, recorded 3 songs, featured in a Target video with Chip and Joanna Gaines and multiple national St. Jude commercials. Denver Nugget’s Michael Porter JR was so impacted by his visit with Lizzy he shared on Instagram, “Lizzy was one of the most amazing people I have ever met.” Lizzy’s greatest accomplishment was positively impacting and touching lives everywhere she went. Her last contribution was her desire to donate parts of her body to St. Jude for further research and help in finding a cure for Osteosarcoma. I have just accepted a position at a local funeral home (never thought I would work for one!) and was asked to start a grief/loss group for fathers dealing with the loss of their children. Any advice or wisdom is much appreciated! Thank you again for sharing your story and many others.
Thank you Kelly for taking the time to be interviewed by David Kessler. I found the interview very helpful. I’m looking forward to getting your workbook.
We are planning a grief conference in September and will suggest your interview to others.
You mentioned grieving in healthy ways and living in a way that will make your children proud. Do you feel faith in Christ is a part of your life? Has God helped you along this path? I’m wondering.
Thank you again.