I am in the process of transitioning from an article/text based blog to a video blog format. I’ve posted a couple of video blogs in the past with a good response rate. I think the video blog will prove to be more powerful for the grieving dads (and moms).

Since I’ve been writing for almost eight (wow, hard to believe) years, I have probably covered most topics at some point either on this blog or in my book. However, I know there are people that find my blog for the first time almost every day and I want to make sure I discuss relevant topics. What seems like “old news” to me may be something that helps someone else going through it today.

I chose to start producing videos because I think they are more engaging and, to be honest, they are easier and quicker to create. I promise to stay with my trademark of being unpolished, raw, direct and honest. All I ask from you is to share the videos on your social media and participate in the conversation. Share your thoughts. You don’t have to agree with me, (actually, yes you do) just add your thoughts so others can learn and find a level of peace with the topic we’ll be discussing.

I am also asking all followers of this blog, Facebook page, Twitter and YouTube Channel to tell me what is important to you. Send me topics/ideas for discussion. I already have a list of about 30 topics, but please keep them coming.

Also, please give me feedback as to whether you like the video blogs and/or things I can do to improve the viewers experience with them. I want to make these as useful as possible.

If you haven’t done so already, please follow me on all of the social media outlets. I would also appreciate it if you make a point to subscribe to my Grieving Dads YouTube channel. This will help us reach more people and bring greater awareness to grieving dads and the impacts of child loss in general.

Depression, Trauma, and Grief, Oh My

The topic of the following video blog is antidepressants. As grieving dads (and moms), we do not just deal with grief; trauma and depression is also a big part of our journey. This video discusses my experience dealing with depression after losing my two children.

Let me know your thoughts on this topic (and video format).

Leave a Reply

User Comments ( 6 )

  • Mike


    I appreciate you sharing this, I can relate to the empty and wandering feelings. It’s 7 months today that I lost my son in a motorcycle accident. At some point everyday I struggle with emotions, memories, accident documents that I can almost recite by memory and the last voice mails and texts that I read or listen to from him daily. I’ve seen a counselor a few times, have been open with our family physician from the begining. I have been on some sort of anxiety and sleep medications for almost 6 months now. There are times that it still doesn’t feel real and I want to wake up have it still be February 12th and are having lunch together for the last time again. I’ve started your book and when we spoke, you said it was a heavy read and it is. I’ve had to put it down and will eventually finish it though. I know there are no answers or quick-fix remedies to be found in the pages, but am hoping to overcome the feeling of being alone in the journey. I’ve a friend here in Tucson that lost his son by his own hand a few years ago and he told me shortly after losing Trevor that we are members of a shitty fraternity that no one wants to be a part of, but can’t ever leave..

    • Mike – Thanks for sharing you thoughts. It is a shitty fraternity, but I am happy to know I am not alone. Keep going on the book when you are ready to start it up again. 7 months is early, there is a long road a head of you but keep moving forward brother. Keep surrounding yourself with others that understand.



  • Thom Gonyeau

    Hi, Kelly. I really enjoyed the video blog. It’s a nice change-up and it is good to hear your wisdom, rather than just read it. Beyond your delivery, though, this is really valuable content. Grieving Dads – men in whatever stage of grief or pain they’re in – can benefit greatly from these concepts. I remember devouring many of your early posts when I was in the throes of losing my children. What stuck with me is how averse to speaking about the specifics and specific challenges of male grief. Society still wants us to stuff it and we (many of us) wholeheartedly embrace this wish. But we know all too well, that grief not dealt with will rear its ugly head time and time again. And predictably, we’re not always well-equipped to deal with it. That’s where the value of support, whether that’s in the form of counseling, medication, meditation, prayer, what have you, comes to help bear the weight. It can help get you upright, so that you can begin the process. Loss and grief changes who you are and with that comes new methods and skills to get you to the other side. Whether it’s confiding in a stranger or taking the advantage of pharmacology, we have got to get over the stigma of men asking for help in times of need, even dire need. My hope is the more we talk about this, the more we normalize it, so that we can be a little more gentle to ourselves. Thanks for sharing.

  • John

    Hi Kelly, my Ryan has been gone going on nine years now. I did go on antidepressants for about five years. They did help me a lot. I always tell people to give them a try, don’t be macho and a tough guy, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I found that keeping busy and staying focused on something can also help a lot. I joined a motorcycle organization that deals with abused kids. I guess in a way, it’s me trying to help a child that needs help, when I couldn’t save my Ryan from his addictions. I love the video blog, as it’s nice to see the man behind the words. Keep it up, it helps a lot of people. Also, your book was very helpful when I read it a few years ago. Thanks for your help brother, keep the blogs coming…..we need them

  • Ray

    I like the video format, Kelly. It’s easy to watch and you do it well. As for recovery from depression, for me it has been important in these past four years (seems like 40) since my son died to recognize that what I’m experiencing is PTSD. I sympathize a lot more with combat vets who can’t stop reliving their experiences; for me, the circumstances surrounding my son’s death and details of our life together are with me constantly. They visit me at unexpected times, sometimes 24/7. It’s something I have learned to live with and am still learning to live with. As for medication, I live in a legal pot state and a puff or two can usually redirect my thoughts into more productive channels if I stay busy. I also find that a pint or two of our fine local craft beers can usually lift my spirits, although I never exceed my limit and I don’t depend on it to get by. I took up playing the fiddle around the time my son died and was recently asked to join a local community bluegrass ensemble that gets together once a week. It’s the first time I’ve performed on the fiddle with other musicians so I have to learn the songs and practice daily, etc. This helps me as well, as it proves to me that life does indeed go on. Anyway, PTSD is my self-diagnosis — depression being one of the symptoms — and that helps me to be kind to myself and a bit more understanding toward other people, although being judgmental is still a character flaw I work on. Keep on vlogging!

    • I don’t live in a legal pot state, but if I did and I thought it would work, I would certainly give it a try over a pill. No doubt. I too enjoy a fine local craft beer. I was just out in Colorado last month and enjoyed everything the state has to offer. Very happy to hear that you are finding a hobby that means something to you. I find that creativity is another tool I’ve used. I tend to get lost in these activities and my mind is on the task at hand and not about all the other “stuff”.

      Thanks for your comment and I am glad you like the format.