“Guy Grief”
It is hard to believe, but my book Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back has been published since June of 2012. It’s been 5 years since this book has been published and I know it has helped thousands of grieving dads and moms through the aftermath of losing a child.
I still hear from several grieving dads every week that continue to struggle as well as the new members of this horrible club. I am both honored and inspired by the response and feedback that I receive. It helps me realize that life is bigger than me and my problems. It’s about a having the strength to reach out and pull as many people as possible out of despair and help them see the light at the end of the tunnel as well as helping them find the purpose that changes the course of their life for the better.
I may not be able to get back to the person I were before, but I can still live a life of meaning that helps others while honoring Katie and Noah. I know they are proud of their dad and I try every day to “make them proud.”
Because of this, I am considering a new venture called “Guy Grief”. I have found that there have been many non-grieving dads that have connected with my book. Not so much the loss of a child aspect, but the other messages within the book that stop men from seeking help. I have sat with many men that have shared their stories of heartbreak with me through their tears. Hurting guys that have never felt like they have had permission to “tell their story” of pain.
One of the things that became obvious to me as I have personally navigated through my losses is that it is an absolute must to allow yourself to become vulnerable, transparent and authentic. One must learn to let it out, all of it. Even the really dark stuff that has happened to us throughout our life.
I hope you continue to stay with me on this journey of reaching others. I need your continued support and feedback as I start this new book project. The project will be similar in nature as far as hard hitting real life stories of pain and survival. I want to be the person that provides a safe place for guys to tell their stories (often for the first time) without judgment. My place is not to judge, only help facilitate the healing.
Feel free to email me your name and contact information for the pre-book orders.
Below is a link to an interview I did last week regarding the topic of men and pain. Or as I like call it, “Guy Grief”.
I lost my 20 year old son Corey February 27th of this year 2017 since Joining your site I don’t feel so alone I was just wondering if you play done coming to Massachusetts any time soon I live in West Bridgewater Massachusetts it was also wondering if there was any other way to get in contact with any of the other grieving fathers that have lost an older teenage son What is the early twenties .Thank you very much for what you bring to us Grieving dad’s .
Hi Tom. I am very sorry for the loss of your son Corey. If you don’t mine, I will ask other dads if they are located near you or if not, willing to connect with you to help you through the pain. Wishing you peace my friend. This is hard, I know it all to well.
Kelly
Kelly:
I wish you well on your new project. Your book was the first I read after my daughter died from a heroin overdose last year. Her death totally turned my world upside down. It also helped me focus on priorities. I did a lot of work with support groups and reading in order to understand and make sense of what had happened. Your book and your blog helped me get to a better place, so thank you. I recently got to the point where I could stand up in front of my school (I teach high school) and share my story with students and faculty. The speech was posted to youtube and can be seen here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWntG83WLxI
Best wishes,
Mike
A long time ago, when Sean was still a toddler, I was asked to sit in on a meeting of the board of directors of a startup private school for disaffected teens, at which I had a teaching job. They were lamenting the resignation of their principal and they inferred that the school’s existence was questionable.
My input consisted of a statement to the effect that I was married with a young son, and I wanted to know asap if I needed to start looking for another job.
One of the board members resumed the discussion by announcing to everyone present, “…Now that Dana has stopped bleeding all over the table…”. I felt, physically, as if I had been slapped in the face. I never forgot it, and I never will. It’s a cheap shot under the belt, but it perpetuates that old myth – that men don’t reveal their feelings or emotions.
I understand now that real men have nothing to lose by revealing a vulnerability, and I understand that he was the lesser of the two of us. It has taken me a long time to open up about it, but I feel that your forum at Grieving Dads welcomed me and has had a fundamental role in my own dealing with the loss of my son Sean ten months ago. Thank you.
Dana