I am one who is always looking forward to the excitement of what’s next, instead of enjoying the moment. Enjoying the moment is a hard thing for me to do. It takes practice and intentional behavior.
Because of this, I am always thinking ahead and trying navigate and guide the future. I should know better, as a grieving dad, I know all to well that I cannot predict the future. But I at least try. I do this by setting goals and creating “To Do” Lists. I was having breakfast with a good friend of mine recently and I asked him the question, “do you have a 5-year plan?” His response was “no, I really haven’t had one for a long time.”
I agreed with him, I haven’t had a 5-year plan since my twenties. It kind of turned into, go to work, save your money and retire. Not much fun in that plan. Actually, it kind of sucks the life out of you and drains the fun out of your life. I then asked him the question, “why did we stop setting goals or developing these plans?” Neither one of us really had a good answer for the question.
So I decided I was going to start thinking about my “plan”. Like I said above, I should’ve known better, but I am a action oriented person, so I started working on it anyway. I can’t help it, I like to set goals and I like to achieve them. At the beginning of each year I sit down and think about the stuff I want to accomplish or experience in the upcoming year. At the end of the year, I check off the goals I achieved and then start thinking about next years goals. Some of the goals are as simple as “take a vacation” or “take up a new hobby.” Kind of sad I have to remind myself to take a vacation or take up a new hobby.
All of these plans and goals have a tendency to put pressure on myself rather than just letting life flow and happen. I like to think that I have control, but I don’t. I know that, but I still try. This morning I came across a really good article about 5-year plans that was written by a grieving mom. It really hit home with me and I wanted to share it with all of the other grieving parents and “Type A’s”. It’s about letting things just “Be”. Enjoy.