I am very fortunate that it has been awhile (9+ years) since I felt the rawness of just losing a child. However, I remember the moment of being told “the news” very vividly.
It doesn’t take much for me to be taken right back to that moment. The good news is that it doesn’t hurt no where near as bad as it did in the moment(s), days, months and years following. I didn’t believe it when I heard it, but “time really does heal.” I know some of you will not agree with me, but please understand, I am not saying I am “healed”, that will never happen, the scar will always remain. What I am saying is the wound gets less grotesque and less painful with time.
Yesterday, a newly bereaved dad (less than a week) sent me a radio interview that he and his wife did to bring awareness to the struggles that his precious daughter endured prior to her death. Listening to their words and the anguish throughout the 18 minute interview was hard to listen to because it took me right back to that little dark room when that doctor told us the news. I was screaming “no, no, no, not again” and the intense (doesn’t even come close to describing it) pain I felt at that moment. The moment my body and mind went into protect mode to stop me from a complete and irrevocable nervous breakdown.
As hard as it is to listen to, I think it is a good reminder of how far I have come. I have set with many of grieving dads when they told their story for the first time, so for me, listening to this isn’t shocking, but I think it provides a valuable lesson and insight to people that have not experienced the death of a child. There is no denying the pain in which one experiences after the death of a child, you can certainly hear it in their voices and words.
Please listen to the interview and share your thoughts here and share the interview with others.