Rub Some Dirt On It
We have all been taught things early in our life that were wrong. Not the 2 + 2 = 4 kind of stuff. I mean life stuff, the kind of stuff that shapes your approach to things in life. How you respond to certain life events. These events can be good or bad. However, depending on how you respond can have lasting impacts.
The one “lesson” that stands out the most for me is being taught that it is a sign of weakness if you cry or show emotions. I was never directly told that, however, certain actions of others and comments directed towards me taught me this unfortunate message. One of these actions that I witnessed (or didn’t) was the fact I never saw a grown man cry when I was a kid. I also heard comments like “big boys don’t cry” or “toughen up” and they had lasting impacts on me that caused great psychological pain after the death of my two children. If I would have been taught from a child that it’s okay to show emotion or even feel it for that matter, it would have helped me process my losses. Instead, I spent my energy on fighting the pain and emotions which ultimately caused depression.
There is something unnatural about not showing your emotions when you are sad or depressed. It’s okay to do it when you’re happy, why not when you’re hurting? Great question that I don’t have an answer for, but it took me a while to reeducate and train my mind that it was okay to show emotion. It is okay to let others know you are hurting and it’s certainly okay to ask for help.
What kinds of “lessons” were you taught that may have been misguided?