The following is a poem I found a few years ago.  I just came across it again today and thought I would share it with all of you.  I was unable to locate an author for this poem.

To Be A Man In Grief

To be a man in grief,
Since “men don’t cry” and “men are strong”,
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult to stand up to the test
and field calls and visitors so she can get some rest.

They always ask if she’s alright and what she’s going through,
But seldom take his hand and ask, “My friend, but how are you?”

He hears her crying in the night and thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her, but “stays strong” for her sake.

It must be very difficult to start each day anew
And try to be so very brave. He lost his child too.

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User Comments ( 8 )

  • Carol

    The first line reads “It must be very difficult…”

  • Jeanette

    This poem would have to be another favourite of mine, it reminds me of wat me and my partner is going thru.

  • Steven Stuart

    Thank you for your blog, and all of the thoughts about losing your children.

    My son died of SIDS just 2 months ago and much of what you (and others) write resonates quite loud and clear.

    I found the author of this poem. Her name is…Eileen Knight Hagemeister.

    Also, here is a site with many poems and stories that may help someone else who is feeling lost, empty, angry, confused, etc.

    Warmest regards,

    • Steven,

      You are welcome, I am glad you found it. Thanks for sharing the authors name.

      It was a pleasure speaking to you yesterday. Like I said in our conversation, I am here if you need to talk.



  • Misguided is the man who doesn’t express his grief. Courageous, brave, authentic, and healthy is the man who does. Hold your wife and cry your eyes out WITH HER. That is better then the best counseling ever!

  • What a beautiful poem. I read it out loud to my husband. Our situation is a little different because the loss of our 9 year old daughter, Lauren, 4 months ago had me very concerned for my husband’s emotions that I constantly ask how he’s doing. Lauren was daddy’s girl, so I was afraid his grief would overwhelm him, but he’s been brave as expected of men.

    • aqdelima,

      I am gald you enjoyed the poem. Thank you for sharing it with your husband. Let him know we are here if he needs any help or needs to speak with another grieving dad. He doesnt have to do this alone, there are a lot of us out there willing to help anyway we can.



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