“Just for Today” for Bereaved Parents – (Section Nine)

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy, for I know that I am not deserting my child by living on.

This is a tough one.  I know many of you that will read this believe that you will never feel happiness again.  I know this, because I felt the same way for a long time.  I am not sure what I wanted more, to feel some sense of happiness again or for the despair to end.  I think it was the fact that I wanted the despair and pain to subside, which in time it did, but only a little at a time.  It was like one step forward and two steps back.  When I did have a good day (relatively speaking) I would feel guilty for feeling happiness.  The guilt would throw me back into the depths of despair.  It’s a vicious cycle that is very hard to break.

I developed an escape plan to get myself out of the despair and into happiness.  I knew I couldn’t continue to live the same life as before, the long hours at a corporate job I hated and chasing the elusive dollar.  I came to realize that way of life is an empty.  So I developed a plan.  Although the plan has changed over the last couple of years and I suspect it will continue to develop over time, just creating the plan helped me feel some sort of hope, like there was a way out.

I have made it my life mission to help others on this difficult journey.  I will accomplish this by continuing with this Grieving Dads project, counseling, coaching and training others on how to better “handle” grieving dads.  It’s a mission that will offer help and create awareness to what dads experience after the death of a child. 

Some form of happiness will return to you some day, not as quickly as you would like, but it will and when it does, allow yourself to enjoy the moment.

Leave a Reply to evennow2007 Cancel Reply

User Comments ( 1 )

  • I have experienced a huge change since the loss of my husband. Loss from a loved one is so personal and it is different for every person. I can’t imagine your loss and your grief.

    I too knew I couldn’t continue to live the same life that I had before, and our plans were now gone.

    It has been a difficult journey for me as well, but I am now finding my present without my husband. My writing has helped. It also helps to connect with those who have experienced the loss as well.