Last month I posted a couple of my writings that I wrote while I was deep in my grief. I received a lot of comments regarding these posting so I decided to share some more of these writings. Once I start reading them, it takes me right back to the moment when I wrote them. The good thing is that I don’t stay there anymore. I read them from time to time as a reminder of how far I have come since those very dark days.
This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. But I am a fighter and I will climb out of this pit. I will be a different person, a better person, a much more loving and compassionate person. My relationship with God is stronger than ever and will continue to be. I know I will hold my kids in heaven. I feel that I am just breaking over the hill and starting my down hill climb back to my new normal.
It has impacted every aspect of my life. I went from a person that had hope and confidence to someone who has to fight to regain just a small portion of these things back. I feel like I have to restart this process everyday and it becomes tiring.
I’ll go weeks feeling like I am doing better and then I have a set back that will last a several days. It’s been 13 months since Noah and the pain is just below the surface. The things in my life that used to seem important really don’t anymore.