“Just for Today” for Bereaved Parents – (Section Eight)
Just for today I will not compare myself with others. I am fortunate to be who I am and have had my child for as long as I did.
I must say I don’t really like this “Just for Today”. I know it’s easy to compare ourselves to others while we are in our grief and after our grief. But I still struggle with seeing other dads walking through the park holding the hand of their daughter or when I see a dad playing catch with his son. I envy them. I feel like I missed so much by not getting more time with my children. They were only in my life for a few months, but they have both changed my life forever.
Although I do feel “fortunate” to have had my child for as long as I did, it still doesn’t take away the pain of not having them longer. I hate when people say, “God must have needed another angel in heaven”. Really? How do you know what God wants? I like the response from one of the grieving dads I have spoken to regarding that statement. His response was “yeah, whatever”.
I received the ”Just for Today” poem from a fellow grieving dad and friend that I met through this project. I have been posting separate sections of the poem to ponder. The poem was written for bereaved parents by Vicki Tushingham.
I’m 60lost my boy 11-30-15 he is 28 my best friend had Heart atact I did CPR could not save him I’m lost just now starting to look for some comfort and understanding
Hi Kent. So very sorry for the loss of your son and best friend. I think you’ll find comfort here, but understanding of what we’ve all been through is a little more difficult to find. However, there does become a level of acceptance that we cant change it. Not sure if you found my book yet or up for the task of reading it, but I do think you’ll be able to connect with the many of dads I interviewed. Sometimes just knowing we are not alone provide comfort and removes a lot of the “feeling alone.” Keep visiting the site and reading material. Join support groups, find other dads that have lost a child, etc. It all helps a little.
Yes, these feelings exist. More, I am saddened that my son, Will 18, did not have a chance to live the beautiful future that was in store for him.