I have been posting a series of “Truisms About Grief” that I received from fellow grieving dad and friend, Charlie.  I met Charlie as part of this grieving dads project.  

This particular “truism” really hits close to home.  I remember sitting in a counselors office about year after I lost my son and asking her “when will I feel better, it’s already been a year and every grief book I read says it takes about a year to grieve”.  I was trying to push through grief, mainly because I thought I could and the other reason was I felt so bad I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was very naive to the grieving process after losing a child.  Her response at every meeting after that was “it will be done when its done, be patient”.  You grieve the loss of a child the rest of your life, it is never “done”.  I think what she should have said was “the very intense pain from grief will ease over time, I can’t tell you when, but be patient”.   

9.   Be Patient  – Grief takes time and patience.  Others may not understand this lesson, so try to realize that they may be functioning from a world of ignorance or well-intentioned concern.  Remember that grieving parents are riding on a subway – they can’t get off, while others only come aboard for short rides.  This reality makes those who grieve asynchronous from others.

Leave a Reply

No Comments