I was going through some old writings from the early days when I was learning to grieve. I thought I would share the following. The one thing that stood out to me is the fact that it “was hard to admit” that it was hard and that it made a huge shift in all aspects of my life. Like I was afraid to say that I was vulnerable to pain and tears. I have since matured in my view of mens grief and it has become the cornerstone of what this project is about.
It’s hard sometime to admit that these losses have turned my world upside down and that the pace and the speed at which I am use to is no longer possible. I almost feel like I am giving up, which has never been an option for me. I refuse to give up, but to make changes to my life. I must learn to simplify.
There are days that I just want to allow myself to fall apart and forget about all of the “responsibilities” of life. I feel like every day is a struggle. I am hoping that it will get better with time, but I don’t know.