“Positive Attitude Is NOT Enough” – Truisms About Grief

I received a list of 31 “Trusims About Grief” from another grieving dad and friend I met as part of this grieving dads project.  I plan on posting a new “truism” every couple of days so make sure to check back.  I met Charlie on my trip to Buffalo where I interviewed him as part of this project.  He provides great insight into what he learned on his grief journey.  Very good stuff, enjoy. 

4.  Although a positive attitude is necessary for a healthy and meaningful life, it is not sufficient to guarantee that good things will always happen:  My daughter’s attitude (as well as that of our whole family) during her illness was positive and life affirming.  Our attitudes made those years the best (and worst) of our lives.  For anyone to think that a person’s attitude is enough to make the world just or to believe that doing the right thing is enough to earn you what you desire is a silly retreat into self deception.  Those who promote this approach, whether religiously or psychologically based, are dangerous (precisely because they make their approach sound so “right” and plausible).