Men are often times forgotten or ignored when it comes to emotional support after the loss of a child. As a grieving dad myself, I didn’t receive support until I, as a man/father, decided to reach out for help. The pain, anxiety and depression had reached a point where fear and panic attacks started to occur more frequently. I couldn’t hold the pain in for much longer and I needed to find a way to let it out. I finally came to the point where I knew I couldn’t do this on my own and needed help.
Once I made the conscious decision to not let myself be defined by the losses of my children, I began to open up and the law of attraction allowed compassionate people to enter my life. I met with counselors, pastors and other angels God put in my life to help me pull out of the despair. I found strangers who had the courage to reach out and help with no agenda.
Women typically have this type of support from the beginning where men are often times forgotten. Men need support as much as women, regardless of how tough and strong they look on the outside. I considered myself pretty tough, but I couldn’t fight it alone. As men we are always taught to be the strong one. However, on the inside we know we are living a lie because the pain is festering. A lot of guys find “alone time” to cry. The pain impacts the ability to function in life, the ability to go to work and focus on your job. Men try to push through it and try to go back to the person they were before, but that is not possible.
My mission is to let them know that it’s okay that you are not the same man as before. You have to find a way to embrace the person you are now and become the best person you can become now.
As a result of my losses, I have become a much more tolerable, compassionate and loving guy than I was ever before. I see the pain in others eyes and reach out to them where before I would run away because I didn’t know what to say. I have learned that you don’t have to say anything, just give others the permission to grieve and talk.