“I Will Not Compare” – Just for Today

“Just for Today” for Bereaved Parents – (Section Eight)

Just for today I will not compare myself with others. I am fortunate to be who I am and have had my child for as long as I did.

I must say I don’t really like this “Just for Today”.  I know it’s easy to compare ourselves to others while we are in our grief and after our grief.  But I still struggle with seeing other dads walking through the park holding the hand of their daughter or when I see a dad playing catch with his son.  I envy them.  I feel like I missed so much by not getting more time with my children.  They were only in my life for a few months, but they have both changed my life forever. 

Although I do feel “fortunate” to have had my child for as long as I did, it still doesn’t take away the pain of not having them longer.  I hate when people say, “God must have needed another angel in heaven”.  Really?  How do you know what God wants?  I like the response from one of the grieving dads I have spoken to regarding that statement.  His response was “yeah, whatever”.

I received the ”Just for Today” poem from a fellow grieving dad and friend that I met through this project.  I have been posting separate sections of the poem to ponder.  The poem was written for bereaved parents by Vicki Tushingham.

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This entry was posted in Bereaved, Death of a Child, Emotions, Friend, Grief, Grieving Dads Words, Hope, Inspiration, Loss of a Child, Poem. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to “I Will Not Compare” – Just for Today

  1. I’m 60lost my boy 11-30-15 he is 28 my best friend had Heart atact I did CPR could not save him I’m lost just now starting to look for some comfort and understanding

    • GrievingDads says:

      Hi Kent. So very sorry for the loss of your son and best friend. I think you’ll find comfort here, but understanding of what we’ve all been through is a little more difficult to find. However, there does become a level of acceptance that we cant change it. Not sure if you found my book yet or up for the task of reading it, but I do think you’ll be able to connect with the many of dads I interviewed. Sometimes just knowing we are not alone provide comfort and removes a lot of the “feeling alone.” Keep visiting the site and reading material. Join support groups, find other dads that have lost a child, etc. It all helps a little.

      Peace.

      Kelly

  2. R. Allan Christianson says:

    Yes, these feelings exist. More, I am saddened that my son, Will 18, did not have a chance to live the beautiful future that was in store for him.

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